Church Member, How Can You Protect Your Pastor from Burnout?
I've been an ordained minister for nearly 15 years, which means I have now officially beat the odds of longevity for pastors. I've joyfully served my current church for the past 2.5 years, and I honestly hope to retire here.
But that's not the case for everyone. Not even close.
The Truth About Burnout
Barna reported as recently as March of 2023 that 41% of pastors have considered quitting in the past 12 months. In 2015, 72% of pastors felt satisfied with their vocation; today that number is 52% and dropping. That is a 20-point decline in less than a decade! This drop is especially notable among young pastors. Just 35% of pastors under 45 say they are "very satisfied," while 58% over 45 say the same.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of counsel pastors receive in avoiding burnout is focused on the individual: take more time off, sleep more, eat better, and exercise. In other words, focus more on yourself, and you'll feel better. Nobody else has to know or be involved.
While this advice has some wisdom, it neglects our very nature as humans created in community. I can spend ample time with my family, sleep 8 hours each night, exercise daily, eat the best diet, and still feel burned out in ministry (trust me, I've done it).
Here's the key: even the best version of ourselves cannot sustain the daily toil of serving a church that has forgotten that their pastor is merely a human, just like them.
In his book, Sensing Jesus: Life and Ministry as a Human Being, Pastor Zach Eswine notes that the world's definition of greatness is "large, notable, and now," but Jesus' teaching on greatness involves "small things, slowly, over a long period of time." Even well-meaning congregations can demand the world's definition, which leads pastors to believe they must be omniscient (know it all), omnipotent (fix it all), or omnipresent (be everywhere at once). I have felt each of these pressures and most often feel them all at once.
The only seasons of relief from these unreasonable expectations are when the congregation sees me for who I am—a human who can't know it all, has little ability to fix anything, and is limited in energy and time—and pushes back the lies they know I'm tempted to believe.
So, I want to encourage you. As a congregation member, you have a vital (and remarkably simple) role to play in pastoral burnout. How does this look, and how can you help your pastor?
“As a congregation member, you have a vital (and remarkably simple) role to play in pastoral burnout.”
Omniscient (Know It All)
The unique nature of pastoral ministry constantly moves you from one high-stakes moment to another. A husband needs counsel for his alcoholic wife, the finance team needs budget projections for next year, there's a leak in the church kitchen that requires immediate attention, and someone sent you an email questioning your theology based on a single comment in your sermon. And that's just Monday.
Healthy, helpful church members know their pastor feels the pressure to know it all in many areas within and outside of their gifting. Help your pastor by using the following phrases…
"Do you know someone who could help me with…"
"You may need some time to get back to me, and that's okay."
"You may not know the answer to this…"
"I don't expect you to…"
"How can I help?"
Omnipotent (Fix It All)
Pastors are helpers by nature, but we are not magicians. More often than not, pastors arrive at a new church in some degree of unhealth. The previous guy didn't fix things, so now the new guy will. We'll give him a grace period, but he better make everything better after that.
Healthy church members know their pastor answers to hundreds of stakeholders. Often, fixing one person's problem creates a problem for someone else. The notion that one flawed human leading an organization will arrive at a place where everything is "fixed" is, at best, delusional. Even so, most pastors wrongly feel they possess the capacity to one day, someday arrive at some utopic harmony if they can just figure it all out and fix all the things.
Helpful church members see the pressure on their pastor to fix it all and the self-contempt that accompanies it. You can help your pastor by…
Celebrating your church's "wins." Don't let something good go unnoticed.
Forbearing with your pastor's weaknesses. He knows his shortcomings and likely has people who remind him of them. He likely doesn't need your voice added to the chorus.
Personally embracing Jesus' teaching on greatness: "small things, slowly, over a long period of time."
“What your pastor really needs is a church family who appreciates that they can’t know it all, fix it all, or be everywhere at once.”
Omnipresent (Be Everywhere At Once)
A company recently marketed their text messaging service to me as "specifically designed for the busy pastor." Their product included randomly auto-generating text messages to members of my congregation to "let them know I care." I could set the app to send a message to every member every two weeks saying, "How are you? I'm praying for you." The company claimed they could make me "10x better at caring for my church."
I'm not sure that's really true. I didn't become a customer. But it highlighted the immense pressure pastors feel to always be available, involved, and thinking about everyone. It's an impossible role to fill, especially when there's also a leak in the church kitchen.
Modern technology is as much of a tool as a disaster for pastors. It used to be that pastors were virtually unreachable once they left the office for the day. Now, I can check my email within 3 seconds whenever I want. My parishioners can confidently text me, expecting me to see it and respond within minutes. This doesn't even touch on the unfair expectation that pastors are there for every hospital stay, funeral, wedding, and social engagement. Oh, by the way, write a dynamite sermon in there somewhere.
Life-giving church members understand the unreasonable and often unspoken impulse to be everywhere all at once. Here are a few ways church members have helped me with this…
Resist the urge to contact your pastor after 5:00 pm unless it is an emergency.
If you request a meeting with your pastor, take time off work to make it happen. Do not expect that your pastor is always available in the evenings.
Avail yourself of other means of care the church has naturally and structurally provided for you: friendships, community groups, etc.
When inviting your pastor to something, say, "I know you likely can't come, but I wanted you to know we value you."
Church Member, Love Your Pastor Well
Recently, I sat with a ministry couple who was deep in burnout. "We know our church appreciates what we do; we're just not sure they appreciate who we are." This couple is like dozens of others I've talked to: they can do all the self-care they want, but what they really need is a church family who appreciates that they can't know it all, fix it all, or be everywhere at once.
Ministry burnout will never be solved this side of heaven, but you—yes, you, congregation member—can be a significant part of caring for your pastor.
Chris Ammen is the founder of Kaleidoscope, www.readkaleidoscope.com, and a Children's Pastor in Chattanooga. He has a BA and M.Ed. in Elementary Education as well as an M.Div. from Covenant Seminary. When not writing, Chris loves spending time with his wife, Sarah, and their four awesome kiddos!
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