Hormones & the God Who Holds Us Together
July 24th, 2023 • by Whitney K. Pipkin
I am crying, and I don’t know why. The evening routine was no more frustrating than usual. The day was no more stressful than it normally is. I check the health app on my phone and remember the reason: It’s nearly that time of the month again.
As women, our hormones can end up directing the traffic of our hearts. And they’re really not very good at it. A dip in one chemical messenger or an increase in another leaves us going along just fine one moment—and wrecked the next. For those struggling with medical diagnoses that impact hormones, such as thyroid disorders, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), or menopause, the impact on our everyday life can be even more severe, often requiring additional help from medical professionals and counselors.
But even the regular rollercoaster of monthly cycles can leave us weary and discouraged. At least once a month, we might find ourselves saying alongside the apostle Paul: “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Rom. 7:14-15).
Can I get an amen?
Hormonal changes and imbalances can leave us more prone than we might otherwise be to irritability, anger, depression, and unpredictable crying spells. But here’s the truth that we need to grapple with (stay with me!): While hormones can help us explain our shifting emotions, they are not an excuse for the sinful behaviors that can often follow.
“As women, our hormones can end up directing the traffic of our hearts. And they’re really not very good at it.”
Is it Our Hormones or is it Our Sin?
While Christians can agree with much of the medical and secular advice for dealing with hormones, we do not want to “call evil good” (Isa. 5:20) by blaming an unseen force for our bad behavior. Rather, Peter would urge us “as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11). And Paul would remind us to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom. 13:14).
We may feel the waves of our changing hormones and the extra pull they exert toward our selfish desires. But in Christ we do not need to let them carry us out to sea.
And yet, there are some days when my hormones have made it feel nearly impossible to be kind. There are days when my hormones have made it feel nearly impossible to get out of bed. There are days when my hormones have made it feel nearly impossible not to yell at the casserole for dropping or the car for locking, or the kids for, well, being kids.
There are days when my hormones have led me to quickly come to the end of myself and to cry out, again, alongside Paul: “Wretched (wo)man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Rom. 7:24).
And it is there, on my knees on the garage floor, that I remember the answer: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7:25).
Falling Apart, Held Together
At these, my lowest points, I am reminded of the gentle Savior who put on flesh to deliver me from it. These moments leave me grieving my shattered ideals of self-sufficiency, my hopes for just being nice despite my raging hormones. But they also leave me utterly grateful for the all-sufficiency of Christ.
Truly, “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together” (Col. 1:17).
When my hormones leave me feeling like I’m falling apart—like the me I want to be has left the building for good—I am reminded that Jesus has done the work of salvation that declares me righteous. And it cannot be taken away by my no-good-very-bad day.
Trusting in Christ for salvation does not give us a get-out-of-jail-free card for our bodily struggles with sin. Our bodies still get sick, age, and are subject to the whims of shifting hormones. Christ may not immediately heal our bodies from the stain of sin, but he does fundamentally change our relationship with sin.
“If Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness” (Rom. 8:10).
“What if the inherent weaknesses that come with hormones don’t keep us from honoring God, but make a way for us to do so?”
As Jen Wilkin summarizes it, salvation has freed us from the penalty of sin. Through sanctification, it is now freeing us from the power of sin. And, one day, it will free us from the presence of sin. Until then, we live in the “already” of our salvation and the “not-yet” of our glorification. Here are a few ways the good news of the gospel helps us, even here:
1. Hormones make us weak, and strong.
Rachel Jones in her helpful book A Brief Theology of Periods (Yes, Really) reminds us that the pervading culture often excuses hormone-fueled behaviors or tries to ignore them all together. But what if weakness, Jones wonders, isn’t a bad thing in God’s economy?
What if the inherent weaknesses that come with hormones don’t keep us from honoring God, but make a way for us to do so? Surely these hormones that are part and parcel of being made female are not an accident. Perhaps, they are instead an inheritance to faithfully steward.
Consider the good: Does your weepiness help you weep with others? Do your physical limitations help you relate to those with chronic illness? Does this dose of lowliness remind you, above all, of a Savior who is described as gentle and lowly (Matt. 11:28-30), who chooses “the weak things of the world to shame the strong” (1 Cor. 1:27 NIV)?
2. Hormones help us abide.
In John 15, Jesus tells his disciples that he is the true vine and they are the branches, created to bear good fruit. “Abide in me,” he says, “and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me” (15:4).
On my good, hormone-oblivious days, I am tempted to act like a mobile tree. I pull my roots away from the source of life and wander into things I think I can pretty much handle on my own . . . until I can’t. The withering and waning that is sure to follow—whether triggered by hormones or circumstances—I’ve begun to see as mercy. My inability to consistently do the things I want to do without falling utterly short reminds me that “apart from (Christ I) can do nothing” (John 15:5b).
3. Hormones invite us to act.
Hormonal changes, even when they’re predictable, can leave us feeling helpless. But there are steps we can take physically, mentally, and spiritually to reduce mood swings and to ride them out faithfully. Since hormonal changes begin with our bodies, the first line of defense often begins with our bodies too. Moving them, filling them with good food, and getting enough sleep can certainly help balance what might be off. Medical advice and medication can be helpful too—even life-saving.
Practically, we can track our cycles and schedule lighter loads for ourselves during certain weeks. We can ask others to pray for us and reach out for accountability and encouragement. Furthermore, we are richly resourced spiritually, even when we feel like our bodies are working against us. The Spirit wants to help us take intrusive and unhelpful thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and to turn our thoughts toward whatever is true and lovely instead (Phil. 4:8). How? “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Col. 3:16).
On hard days, this may mean letting an audio Bible read Psalm 23 over us, or playing Sara Groves’ “Honey in the Rock” playlist. When thankfulness doesn’t come easily, I use my fingers—and sometimes my toes—to tally up all the good until I start to feel a tinge of gratitude. When all else fails, a nap can go a long way, “for he gives His beloved sleep” (Ps. 127:2b).
“Repentance paves a way for us to return and to rest again in Christ’s perfect obedience. ”
4. Hormones invite us to repent.
Even when we do everything we can to live well within our limits, we will still fall short (Rom. 3:23). We will still snap at those we love and lose our cool at the dog. We will feel overwhelmed and discouraged and wonder what hope there is for change.
But this bad news leads us right back to the good news. For, “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We don’t have to stay away from the Lord or from our loved ones because we messed up. Repentance paves a way for us to return and to rest again in Christ’s perfect obedience.
Let me confess here that I have often been the most reticent of repenters. I snap too often and stew too long. But once I simply say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” I find the relief I’d been looking for in all the wrong places. I find the footing to make my way out of the pit I’ve dug. And I find these words from Isaiah ringing true: “In repentance and rest is your salvation” (30:15 NIV).
5. Hormones teach us endurance.
The hard thing about hormones is that they’re both cyclical and subject to change. Seasons of infertility or pregnancy can give way to moodier monthly episodes and, eventually, to menopause. The struggle for many women may very well be lifelong.
If repetition is indeed the mother of learning, we will have a lot of opportunities to learn to live well alongside our hormones. But could we also learn to consider even these repetitive trials as “joy . . . knowing that the testing of (our) faith produces endurance” (James 1:2)?
We may not know why the Lord allows some of us to be more impacted by negative hormonal changes than others. But those who are in Christ can know that he is working even this “for the good of those who love him” (Rom. 8:38 NIV). We can know—even when it doesn’t feel like it—that this repetitive trial is producing much-needed endurance in those who cling to Christ.
Sisters, Jesus sees your struggle and he has not abandoned you to it. When temptations rear their head again, look for the grace he provides, “that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13). The Savior who stooped to touch the bleeding woman is near to help those feeling crushed by these particular trials. Not even your stormiest moods can keep him away.
Whitney K. Pipkin lives with her husband and three children in Northern Virginia, where they are longtime members of Grace Bible Church Lorton. Her book, We Shall All Be Changed: How Facing Death with Loved Ones Transforms Us, will be out from Moody Publishers in February of 2024. You can find her on Instagram and sign up for her newsletter at whitneykpipkin.com.
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