Praying with a Broken Heart
There are moments when the world seems to crash in—days, weeks or months when the pain seems unbearable. Illness, betrayal, or disappointment might dominate your days and hope seems to ebb away. Ever since Genesis 3, the world has been full of hard things that cut deeply because you and I know this is not how life was designed to be.
How we need the Lord on those days! How we need to hear his words of comfort and hope. Yet it is precisely on those days that we often find it hard to speak to him in prayer. Maybe we are distracted by the pain, or maybe we are too tired to formulate sentences. Maybe we are wondering why the Lord would let us suffer like this and we harbor quiet thoughts that he does not love us quite as much as we believed. At times like this, our brothers and sisters in Christ often encourage us to turn to the Lord. Their words are not wrong, but we often respond with, “But how?” How can we squeeze words out through our gritted teeth and tear-stained cheeks? Thankfully, the Bible models the answer to that. And much of its answer can be found in the book of Psalms.
Crying Out to God in Pain—With Hope
“How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?” is the opening of Psalm 13. David, in his time of need, knew one important fact: we can come to our Father as we are, with all our questions, our pain and our frustration. Often we think that we need to offer polished prayers—prayers that somehow show the Lord (and others around us who might be listening) just how godly we are—but the Lord’s love for us is deeper than that. He loves hearing our voices, and he wants to hear what is on our hearts. We can come to him with gritty, desperate prayer. We can ask big questions and express our confusion without shame. God does not want to leave us in this place of desperation, but he is willing to hear words that start there. Lament requires us to be real about the pain of life rather than covering it with a glossy spin.
“As we remind ourselves that God is present, active, and good, we can begin to see that the Lord’s sovereignty, understanding, and plans are far beyond what we can imagine.”
Telling the Lord about the struggles of life is in itself an act of trust. Pouring out our hearts to the one who knows all things and rules all people is an act of faith. And, as we speak, we may well find that our trust in the Lord begins to grow. There are, of course, moments when it feels as if we are praying into thin air, but as we remind ourselves that God is present, active, and good, we can begin to see that the Lord’s sovereignty, understanding, and plans are far beyond what we can imagine. Seeing how big and kind he is can spur us on to asking him to act in extraordinary and specific ways. “Look on me and answer . . . Give light to my eyes,” David continues (13:3). What we ask may not seem humanly likely, but in the hands of the living God, the extraordinary can come to pass. Sometimes the change he brings is in our circumstances and in his mercy he removes some of the pain. Often the change he brings is in us—growing us to love and lean on him more deeply. Both are good. Both can spur us towards peace.
Muddling Through Prayers of Thanksgiving—In Community
When life is hard it can be so very difficult to praise. When our eyes are on our problems, our memory of the good that the Lord has lavished into our lives seems to disappear. Lifting our eyes in hope allows us to see there is more to life than our problems. We have a heavenly Father whose love is so deep; a Son whose sacrifice has brought us salvation and every blessing in the heavenly realms (Eph. 1:3); a Spirit who indwells and equips us to persevere, each day making us more like Christ. We have a community of believers around us, each called to spur one another on (Heb. 10:24). Life may be unspeakably hard, but there is also so much that is precious and good. Good that enables us to join with David in saying, “I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:6) even on the darkest of days.
Ultimately, for those who are in Christ, we have the promise of eternal bliss—eternal life with God that is not here yet, but one day our pain will melt away and our hearts will overflow with praise of our Lord and King.
Sometimes such truths still do not feel enough. Sometimes we can hear or read psalms like Psalm 13 and are still left unable to find our own words because our pain is so deep and the despair has such a grip on our hearts. In those moments, we can be sure that the Spirit is interceding for us (Romans 8:26–27). The great news is that we don’t have to have our own words. We can adopt David’s words as our own. When we are dry, we can tap into the riches of the Psalms and speak out – sing out – the words that resonate with our heart.
And we can do all that together with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Psalm 13 was set to a tune designed to be sung by the worshiping community. Many voices lifting up one theme—a lament that asks the Lord to act in times of trial. In those brokenhearted seasons we do not need to feel we have to come up with prayers by ourselves, we can lean on those around us and allow them to encourage us to pray. Even if our voice may be weak, theirs may be strong.
Dear sister, it may be that you are facing deep distress today. It may be that the fallenness of this word is so painful that words of prayer are getting stuck in your throat. The Lord sees your pain. He knows how you struggle to speak and cares. He has also provided a way for you to cry out to him. Through the Psalms—with the saints of old and also those who surround you now—there is a path to prayer. A route to words of trust that pour out the pain, the pleas and the praise that is right and proper for today. And there, in prayer, we find the hope and help we need to persevere.
RESOURCES ON PRAYER
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