Advent and Remembrance: How Our Traditions Shape Us
November 26, 2021 • by Holly Mackle
A wash of color creeps across the December sky; cascades of pink and orange take a dramatic bow as the clouds alight and burn at the edges. “Who loves you?” I ask my girls. “God,” they reply, most of the time in unison. It’s one of those little family quirks of unknown origin, but I hope it’s always with us. Advent or not, at the sight of a majestic sunset, “Who loves you?” kicks back quick as a reflex, a part of our redemption-speak. It happens fast—the briefest nod to Creator God who spills pink and orange across the sky for seemingly no purpose other than our delight and his glory. This line is a part of the liturgy of our family (not all of which is repeatable in polite society). It’s a rhythm of our home life—a truth pressed so deep down I pray none of us can even find the root.
God loves me?
Yes, God loves me.
This I know.
God is at work?
Yes, God is always working.
This I can trust.
God is out for my good?
Yes, God is redeeming all things.
This is my comfort.
Under those December skies each of us has a unique opportunity to add to, sharpen, and in some cases, take away from the liturgy we employ during Advent. After all, it’s these small, shaping refrains, the things we say over and over, whether out loud or in our own minds and hearts, that communicate what’s important to us individually as believers, as a church body, or as a family unit.
Our God makes it very clear in the story of redemption that he is after our hearts and not our empty actions (1 Sam. 16:7, Prov. 21:2). This steady ground gives us breathtaking freedom to examine the why behind the practices and liturgical rhythms of our personal and communal Advent, as we hold our choices up to Scripture and ask ourselves whether or not these things are good and right and true, and meet our worship goals.
During this especially memory-laden season I pray we would be personal, intentional, and practical in these choices. I pray that as we enter the Advent season, we would beg God to guide and shape our solo practices, our worship experiences, and our communal memories; and in doing so, shape us.
“Our God makes it very clear in the story of redemption that he is after our hearts and not our empty actions.”
Let’s Be Different
Personally, I find Christmas tradition discussions most helpful when they remain on a theoretical level and don’t dip into the whats/hows/whens, because, quite simply, it helps me avoid comparison, envy, or the dreaded FOMO. "What!? My friend on Instagram is crafting a daily handmade beaded glitter wreath with her kids? Shoot, I need to get on it!"
Rather, what makes Christmas traditions so special is that they are different across individuals and families, and what works for me/us may not work for you/yours and vice versa.
Plus, if you knock it out the park connecting substitutionary atonement to the Elf on a Shelf—who am I to judge? Have at it, sister! When our kids are college pals in the midst of their late night dorm room theological debates, I pray that Elf will make an appearance in all the best ways.
When we approach the inevitable Christmas tradition discussions with friends and neighbors, a spirit of curiosity can help to upend the sneakiness of comparison and is also handy in keeping us in a better headspace during the (also inevitable) Pinterest searches.
Curiosity can even lead us to ask those we love, “What’s most meaningful to you at Christmas?” or “Is there something you’ve always wished we could do together leading up to the holidays?” Turning from these conversations to prayer and thoughtful consideration of their wishes can lead friend groups, small groups, and families toward some very sweet (and fun!) new traditions.
Truth That Sticks
I want to intentionally seek out and create Advent tradition offerings that will stick to the bones of those I want to love well at Christmas, including myself.
Thankfully, the story of Advent is chock full of opportunities to creatively connect scriptural truth with an annual activity or conversation. I’ve found it helpful to look for the larger doctrinal truth in the pages of Scripture, for instance connecting the genealogy of Matthew 1 and Luke 3 to our children’s own covenant childhood and an opportunity to remind them of their baptism.
With these eyes, twinkle lights take on a new hue as we light our house each evening, aliens in a land that is not our home, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden” (Matt. 5:14). And with these eyes, I feel the freedom to return (or not return) to the same Advent devotional year over year, willing to grow and change both personally and as a family unit based on our needs in that particular year.
“I want to intentionally seek out and create Advent tradition offerings that will stick to the bones of those I want to love well at Christmas, including myself. ”
Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
My husband says I’m quick to toss out unnecessary items (never mind that he may place different parameters on necessary…) and it’s no different at Advent. When it comes to Advent traditions, I am quick to shove to the curb anything that causes frenzy, strife, or stress. If it’s too complicated, expensive, fussy, or utilizes glitter in any capacity, well, there’s just no space.
There is so little time in the candled weeks, I want to choose to clip out anything that’s made its way into the liturgy we employ at Advent that’s not moving both myself and those I love toward the end goal of hearts bowed in submission to the coming King.
I pray we will all give ourselves a break and metaphorically (or even literally) toss anything that needs to be cut into that box marked “donate.” I’ve found that a hard edit clears the clutter and makes the choices we do retain shine even brighter.
What We Do Have Time For
Our choices are just that, after all—decisions we are offered under the safety of our freedom in Christ in how we want to show him honor. Many religions have specific regulations for how their followers are to observe seasons or festivals, but beyond the call of regular church attendance, Christianity has surprisingly few celebratory parameters.
What joy we have in choosing the specific ways we can rehearse the truth that we are loved by the God who did not spare his own Son. With these eyes Christmas becomes yet another opportunity to, year after year, pause and play out the answer to the questions we are all asked to answer:
Who loves you? Who is working on your behalf? And, Is he out for your good?
Holly Mackle is a lower school librarian, wife, mother, curator of the mom humor collaboration Same Here, Sisterfriend, Mostly True Tales of Misadventures in Motherhood, and author of the family Advent devotional Little Hearts, Prepare Him Room. Holly’s Realtor husband, David, can plate a Lean Pocket like a James Beard Award winner, and together they wrangle two young girls in Birmingham, Alabama. Find her on Instagram.
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