Comforting Others with the Comfort of God’s Word
* Note: The introduction to this article contains a mention of domestic and spiritual abuse. Please consider clicking away if needed to protect your heart. *
We sat together in a small, fluorescent-lit room with checkerboard floors, to view a training video about domestic violence. The longer it played, the more disheartened I felt. Burdened to serve women in my community, I signed up to volunteer at the local women’s shelter. But in the training video, there was a whole section portraying how the Bible is misused to justify domestic abuse. I certainly don’t deny that this is the case; sadly, horrific abuse occurs in the name of God’s Word.
But during the video, Christianity was mocked as scenes depicted women being told to “pray more” or “read the Bible” in order to endure abuse. Internally, I pleaded for all to know this is not the way it should be. God does not intend for his Word to be used as a weapon. Rather, God’s word is the most supreme comfort, even in such horrific situations as abuse.
Where Else Would We Turn?
God’s Word is living and active, and it does not come back void (Heb. 4:12; Isa. 55:11). And its pages are filled with incredible truths. Revelation 21:4 tells us that one day God will “wipe away every tear” from the eyes of his children and “death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more.” What a promise to hold onto in our darkest times—and the Bible is a book all about why and how this promise will come to pass.
Where else can we find the words of a Creator God who experienced the same human pain and loss as we do?
“God’s Word show us how to lament, grieve, and express the full range of human emotions (including anger!) while still clinging to the promises of God. ”
Scripture calls God the “God of all comfort,” and we learn that he comforts us so that we may comfort others in their own sufferings (2 Cor. 1:3–7). While we suffer with Jesus, we receive divine comfort.
Plenty of other words of comfort are immediately available to us in Scripture as well. We read divine promises of death defeated and resurrection life, of weary bodies made strong, of illnesses healed, and of stone-cold, sin-stained hearts receiving forgiveness and freedom from captivity (John 6:32–40; 1 Cor. 15:53––17).
The Old Testament prophets cry of hope for righteousness, justice, and deliverance to be fulfilled through Christ; and these fulfilled prophecies prove the trustworthiness of God’s word (Isa. 9:1–7).
Songs, poetry, stories, and instruction in the Wisdom literature show us how to lament, grieve, and express the full range of human emotions (including anger!) while still clinging to the promises of God.
Apocalyptic literature reminds us that all things will be made new, and our tears will all be wiped away one day (Rev. 21:4–7).
The Gospels proclaim the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, of whom the whole counsel of the Word sings (John 3:16).
Epistles (or letters) to church congregations and communities give us instruction on how to live, how to navigate difficult times, and interact with brothers and sisters in Christ.
No matter what we or others suffer from, there is a place in Scripture we can turn to for comfort. And as partakers of God’s Word, we must be willing and intentional to share those precious words with friends, family, neighbors, and strangers.
The Caveat
But perhaps there are helpful and less than helpful ways of offering the comfort of Scripture to those in hard places. I have certainly experienced plenty of situations in difficult times when someone’s offering of a verse feels more like a platitude than an encouragement to really know peace and comfort.
Verses about God’s love for the orphan and the widow are beautiful words to a grieving highschooler who’s lost her dad, but citing those passages won’t fill the empty chair at her graduation. Echoing words of the author of Hebrews about joyfully experiencing the loss of personal property and belongings doesn’t put clothes on one who just lost everything in a house fire. Quoting God’s provision doesn’t magically create a job for a single mother who just lost hers. God’s word calls us to share with our words and act with our hands and feet (Matt. 25:40).
Practical methods of caring for others and comforting them are essential; it’s the tangible care that helps the sufferer know she is cared for by real people in real ways. So how do we use Scripture to comfort others without trivializing their physical and/or emotional experience?
“When we feel unsure how to help, remember, we have access to the greatest source of comfort. We need not doubt the power of our silence, our words, and our actions when our foundation is God. ”
Comfort In Action
In Christ’s ministry, he spoke with the downtrodden, ate with the outcasts, taught parables of serving the lowest of society, wept with the grieving, and cared for the poor, the weary, and the sick (Matt. 9:10–13; John 4:1–26, 11:1–37; Luke 4:40). The apostle Paul wrote about people whose actions made a world of difference for him, some who even risked their lives for him (Rom. 16:3; 1 Cor. 16:18; 2 Cor. 11:33; Phil. 4:10–14; Col. 4:11). We know from plenty of examples in the Bible that being hands and feet to comfort others is part of any Christian’s service.
I think in a way, this is all simple for us to imitate, isn’t it? We can ask ourselves, what will change my despair to hope? What do I need help with practically?
Messages of hope in Jesus are the greatest messages of comfort, because those messages promise us that our sufferings have meaning and matter deeply to God (James 1:2–4, 1 Pet. 5:6–10). Putting those messages into action may be transformational for someone. So take soup to the sick neighbor, clean the house for the recently widowed woman, visit those in prison, write to the soldiers far from home, attend significant school events for the fatherless children, plant a garden for the infertile woman, invite the single neighbor over at Christmas; the list is endless.
Handling the Discomfort of Uncertainty
Comforting others feels uncomfortable at times. Maybe we don’t know the person or family very well, or maybe we’re unfamiliar with their experience of loss. Or perhaps our person is asking the question “Why?” and we just don’t know how to respond—silence and uncertainty can feel awkward, but silence is actually a helpful tool. Silence leaves time for reflection, and uncertainty may help the griever feel less alone in her wonderings about why God allows hard things.
When we feel unsure how to help, remember, we have access to the greatest source of comfort. We need not doubt the power of our silence, our words, and our actions when our foundation is God. Turning to Scripture, we can imitate how Christ comforted people during his ministry on earth, and we are also reminded to call upon the Holy Spirit who was given to us as a counselor (John 15:26–16:33).
None of us will move through life completely unscathed, but holding tightly to the promises in God’s Word will make our wounds easier to bear. And enlightening others about God’s Word will offer them what they need most. If I could go back to that training session at the women’s shelter, I’d offer that it is possible to comfort women with God’s Word and care for their needs in the midst of an abusive situation. Get them help, assure them this isn’t happening because they don’t pray enough, and then offer God’s words of deep comfort. Tell hurting people that God is with the brokenhearted, that he knows the number of our tears, and that one day, all will be made new and right (Rev. 21:4; Psalm 56:8).
With all of our intentional actions, we will never go wrong if we integrate Scripture, whether verbally in conversation, or written down in a card, text message, or gift. God is the God of all comfort, and so we can trust he has provided all we need in Scripture in order to comfort those he places in our lives.
RESOURCES ON GRIEF AND LAMENT
IMPORTANT NOTE
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