What is There to Celebrate on Mother’s Day?
Note: This article contains mention of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. Please consider clicking away if needed to protect your heart.
The pregnancy test shook in my hand. I had fully expected it to be negative, but a solid blue line appeared instantly, whispering that I was not alone. Nestled in my womb was the baby who made me a mother.
As I went about my regular activities like making dinner, cleaning my classroom, and grocery shopping, I dreamed about future ultrasound pictures hanging on our fridge and the new jeans I’d buy to accommodate my growing belly. I pictured my husband and I building a crib and the moment I’d hear my baby cry for the very first time. But those dreams shattered on the sunny February day when our baby left us.
The same hand that shook as it held that first pregnancy test now held a few sympathy cards. The womb where my baby once lived was empty. In less than a week, I had keenly tasted both the wonder and the heartache of motherhood.
It’s no surprise that Mother’s Day now carries a host of new emotions with its impending arrival: gratitude for the short time I got to be a mother. Sadness that my time with my baby is over. Longing for a world where such brokenness doesn’t exist. Deeper appreciation for a God who carries us in our pain. Perhaps you feel the same emotions, even if your circumstances are different. Maybe you have several children running around your home but long for a close relationship with your own mom. Perhaps you have been praying for years for a pregnancy that never seems to come. Maybe you have a child who has walked away from the faith, bringing more grief than you realized was possible to feel.
Motherhood. It brings with it such complicated grief; yet in the midst of that grief, there lies a beauty endowed by the Creator. Because since before the fall, motherhood has been God’s very good plan to show us more of himself. Since the fall, its complexity often clouds out the beauty, leaving us wondering at times what there is to celebrate on Mother’s Day.
“It brings with it such complicated grief; yet in the midst of that grief, there lies a beauty endowed by the Creator.”
The Creator of Motherhood
God made motherhood beautiful when he declared it good. In Genesis, we read how God created man and woman in his image and then told them to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” (Gen. 1:28). After this institution, he “saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Gen. 1:31). God designed a woman’s body to hold and nurture life. He formed her womb to be a place of safety and solace, a place where life and growth reigned.
In Psalm 131, we see the psalmist compare the comfort of a mother to that of God himself: “O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”
The psalmist chose to rest in the comforting presence of the Lord rather than trying to understand the things too complicated for him to comprehend. To describe this posture of peace, he compared himself to that of a child and the Lord as a mother. We have all likely seen an inconsolable child handed to his mother immediately nestle into her arms, comforted to be where he belongs. A weaned child suggests that it is simply the presence of the mother he wants, not something he can get from her (like milk). Simply to be with her is a comfort. This image demonstrates what we do when we rest in our heavenly Father’s care and how he attends lovingly to his people.
God has chosen to reveal part of himself in the institution of motherhood.
The Comforter of Motherhood
We all know though that God’s “very good” creation did not stay in such a perfect state. The very first mother brought the curse of sin into the world; ever since she tasted of the forbidden fruit, every mother and child has known its bitterness.
You may feel it in the infertility clinic as you pray for the miracle of life. Perhaps you taste its bitterness in the heartache and confusion of rebelling children. Maybe you’ve seen it on the ultrasound that was supposed to show a beating heart. Perhaps you feel it in abuse, divorce, neglect, and so many more possibilities.
When we see the positive pregnancy test, when we hear the giggle of a toddler, when we have a heart-to-heart with our own mother, it’s easy to see the beauty of motherhood as God designed it. But what do we do when we see the stain of the bitter fruit of Eden? We must remember that God designed motherhood to point us to Christ, and we run to him for comfort when it falls so very short.
Motherhood was designed to be a picture of something greater. When a picture is torn, the subject remains unchanged. The same is true here; motherhood has been tainted by sin; but Christ has not. Whether we long for a child of our own, grieve the one we once had, fear we have failed the ones we have now, or lament not having a mother who cared for us, Christ remains the place of safety, refuge, and comfort motherhood was designed to point us to.
Notice how Psalm 131 ends: “O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forevermore.” Even though the psalmist used motherhood as the picture of comfort, the Lord alone is the source of comfort. This was true in the psalmist’s day and is true in ours.
“The practice of celebrating and grieving motherhood reminds us that it was designed to point us to our ultimate Comforter. The unchanging, pure, and holy God.”
The Celebration of Motherhood
If you're like me, this Mother’s Day may come with a hundred different emotions. Know that it is okay to feel those emotions. You can celebrate the gift of motherhood while grieving its brokenness. God’s grace makes room for both. The practice of celebrating and grieving motherhood reminds us that it was designed to point us to our ultimate Comforter. The unchanging, pure, and holy God.
Whatever situation you find yourself in this Mother’s Day, know that the Lord sees you. He cares about your pain, and he is the Giver of your greatest joy. Motherhood, in its beauty and in its brokenness, is meant to push us ever closer to him. His perfection outweighs our emptiness and our longings. And because he is worth celebrating, motherhood is too.
RESOURCES ON GRIEF AND LAMENT
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