Navigating Divorce with Wendy Alsup
Have you had to navigate divorce or do you know someone who has? In this week’s episode Hunter talks with Wendy Alsup about how God was faithful to walk her through the incredibly difficult circumstances surrounding her divorce. Wendy shares how she found solace in meditating on God’s Word and in immersing herself in a safe local church body. We hope this episode offers you encouragement if you are in a similar situation or that it gives you tangible ways to care for those in your community who are hurting.
INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
How did you come to know the Lord?
When did you begin studying theology?
What made you want to help other women study theology?
How did your knowledge and love of God carry you through the challenges you’ve faced?
How can the church come alongside women navigating divorce? On the flip side, what areas do you think the church needs to grow in to love those who have been impacted by divorce well?
How can we support children who have been impacted by divorce? What are some things that you wish would have been done for your kids?
How has your theology deepened and matured as a result of the challenges you’ve faced? How has God enabled you to “consider it a great joy when you face trials of many kinds,” as it says in James 1:2-4?
What compels you to deeply invest in your local church even after having been hurt in the church?
How do you continue to pursue a study and knowledge of the Lord in your current season?
Who has had the greatest impact on the way you know and love God?
NOTES & QUOTES
“I often feel like the way God grows us is through a circular staircase. You keep revisiting the same degrees, the same locations, but maybe at a little different level. But it's a spiraling maturity.”
“All of these circumstances sift what we believe about God, and they're clarifying to us so that we can correct what we believe about God according to Scripture.”
“A lot of times we believe it in theory, but the way we respond in these trials, they are the fire that shows us what we actually are believing as opposed to what we might say if confronted by our pastor. And so in that sense, it's a grace. It's a grace because the truth will set you free, right?”
“Find a [church] that has other sufferers.”
“I love to study to write. I love studying Scripture to teach, but I also just need to know Scripture to be in relationship with God.”
“I think the real hard thing for me was just to feel forgotten. And I think that people just didn't know what to do, so they didn't do anything. But you can just do a little thing. You don't have to do a big thing to let someone know you haven't forgotten them.”
“Just remember, hospitality is from the language of a hospital, and it's much more tied to crisis than a showy type. So hospitality is inviting someone in crisis in for a meal, or just to stay in your guest bedroom. And I think holidays are a wonderful time to extend hospital-type hospitality.”
“Joseph, while he was in captivity, named his second son Ephraim, which meant fruitfulness in the Hebrew, and he said he did it because ‘God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.’ And it was so convicting to me because I was in this place of thinking how fruitful I could be if I could get out of this affliction. And I didn't like the name Ephraim at first. I really resisted it because I didn't want to be fruitful in the land of my affliction. I wanted to be fruitful in the land I had imagined for myself if I followed God and obeyed him and pursued him. But that language started to become really precious to me, that I didn't have to be free of the affliction to have work to do in the ministry.”
“Though I'm weeping, there is still a bag of seed at my feet. God has something for me to do even as I suffer. I'm not put on the shelf to wait until I'm done suffering and then maybe if I earn back enough, I can get back into the game of ministry. That's not it at all. God's kingdom grows through suffering people, not in spite of our suffering.”
“Am I keeping watch all the time for God at work?”
Insight #1:
Why do we show love to others? Hunter just reminded us of the importance of welcoming others as Christ has welcomed us, but why should we do this? There are so many places in Scripture that illustrate the heart Jesus longs for us to have for the body and for those who are hurting.
1 Peter 4:8-9 tells us to “love each other earnestly” and to “show hospitality without grumbling.” Jesus shared several parables to communicate the need to humbly show honor to those whom society views as “lesser” (Luke 14:7-14, Matt. 25:42-46). The book of Romans reminds us to contribute to the needs of the saints, to show hospitality, to associate with the lowly, and to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:13-16).
But one of my favorite examples of this is in Acts 2. After they were “cut to the heart” by Peter’s sermon after Pentecost…we get to see how the gospel changed these new believers! They repented, they believed, and then their actions overflowed to those around them. Acts 2 says they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread together and to prayer. They shared all things together in common, selling their possessions and distributing the proceeds to those in need. Their hearts were glad and generous and full of praise to God! I love this picture of the overflow of hospitality and generosity that comes from our understanding of the gospel—of what Christ has done for us!
Wendy gave some excellent examples of how the church tangibly cared for her family during the painful season of divorce, and how she seeks to show hospitality today. Now friend, consider: How might the gospel and the love Christ has shown to you compel you to show hospitality and generosity to those in your community, to those in your church body, to those who are hurting or walking through difficult circumstances?
RESOURCES
Practical Theology for Women by Wendy Alsup
Companions in Suffering by Wendy Alsup
A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT
Have you ever felt forgotten in the midst of a difficult season? Or maybe you’re the friend of someone in a hard situation but are at a loss for what to do to care for them? In this week’s episode, Wendy reminded us that “you don't have to do a big thing to let someone know you haven't forgotten them.” You can just do a small thing to show them you care.
Why do we do this? Why do we, as Christians, show love to others, especially those who are hurting? Scripture reminds us of the importance of welcoming others as Christ has welcomed us (Rom. 15:7). 1 Peter 4:8-9 tells us to “love each other earnestly” and to “show hospitality without grumbling.” Jesus shared several parables to communicate the need to humbly show honor to those whom society views as “lesser” (Luke 14:7-14, Matt. 25:42-46). The book of Romans reminds us to contribute to the needs of the saints, to show hospitality, to associate with the lowly, and to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Rom. 12:13-16). In Acts 2 we also see a beautiful overflow of hospitality and generosity that comes from the understanding of the gospel—of what Christ has done for us!
Friend, consider: How might the gospel and the love Christ has shown to you compel you to show hospitality and generosity to those in your community, to those in your church body, to those who are hurting or walking through difficult circumstances?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
How has your knowledge and love of God carried you through the various challenges you’ve faced?
Do you know anyone personally who has been impacted by divorce? Is there someone in your local church who you might serve as they walk through this difficult season?
Wendy said “God's kingdom grows through suffering people, not in spite of our suffering.” How does that statement encourage you?
How have you found that meditating on Scripture sustains you throughout your day? What verse might you look to this week to meditate on for encouragement?
What might you do or implement based on what you learned in this week’s episode?
MORE CONVERSATIONS ON SUFFERING
IMPORTANT NOTE
Journeywomen interviews are intended to serve as a springboard for continued study in the context of your local church. While we carefully select guests each week, interviews do not imply Journeywomen's endorsement of all writings and positions of the interviewee or any other resources mentioned.
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