Inviting Women Back to God’s Table
January 30, 2023 • by Ericka Andersen
More than 16 million American women have left the local church in the past decade (Christianity Today). While church attendance has been declining population-wide for decades, women are now leaving at significantly faster rates than men. What’s going on?
Women still outnumber men as church members, and they are often faith leaders for their children. But, what will happen if these numbers continue to rise? How can we invite the women we know and love back to a church community in a compelling way?
First, we must know where their hearts lie. Some blame the mass exodus on a culture of deconstruction or deconversion. But I’ve discovered the cause is far more nuanced—and hopeful—than that.
Why Women Leave
One of the most common reasons women leave the local church is due to stress, overwhelm and exhaustion (Barna Research). Life is heavy, and church seems to be just one more thing they feel obligated to do. The COVID pandemic only exacerbated this trend, giving those already on the verge of leaving an excuse to make it official. According to a study from the American Enterprise Institute, more people stopped attending religious services since 2020 and currently, one in three Americans report never attending.
Why are people so likely to move away from their church community today? One of the biggest reasons is that many women aren’t aware of why the local church is so important for believers. The theology of the Church wasn’t something they learned in Sunday School, and when you lack the why behind your actions, it can be difficult to stay committed in hard times.
Even as a lifelong churchgoer, I was never taught about the purpose of the local church. As Christian women who care about the church body, we can help educate others about this important theology and how God works through each of us to build his Kingdom.
“Scripture is clear that we are called to gather as the local church, and that this matters deeply to God. ”
Here are few of the most important reasons we find in Scripture for participating in regular faith community through the local church:
Hebrews 10:25 instructs us to “not neglect meeting together” but, rather, “encouraging one another.”
Romans 12:4-5 tells us that each member of the local church body does not “have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ.”
Ephesians 3:10 notes that it is through the church that “the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.”
Acts 2:42 demonstrates local church behavior, described as members “devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.”
1 Corinthians 12:12 again reminds us that we are “members of the body…for the body does not consist of one member but of many.”
Acts 20:28 instructs us to “pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.”
We often hear people say they “don’t need to go to church to have a relationship with God.” But Scripture is clear that we are called to gather as the local church, and that this matters deeply to God.
Studies show that most women who leave church are not abandoning their faith or de-converting. They still value their relationships with God and want a deeper faith life (Pew Research). Our ability to connect the dots between church community and those desires is key to drawing them back.
Part of the reason the idea of church may turn some women off is their misshapen ideas or experience of what it is. It’s easy to envision a white church steeple, pews, and hymnals, and to think of it only as a place you go for an hour or two on Sunday mornings.
But a true understanding of church would tell you that Sunday mornings are only a small part of what it means to gather. As believers in a church community, we are to live as brothers and sisters in Christ, upholding and uplifting one another through all of the emotional, financial, relational, and spiritual struggles of life.
Understanding is Key
But it takes more than just intellectually knowing the purpose of the local church. We still must reach the hearts of the women who are struggling. Single women and single moms are the two highest demographics of women leaving church. They often cite feeling unseen or unheard as reasoning behind lack of attendance.
And while catering to each person’s individual needs is not the purpose of the local church, it’s important to consider the diversity of members when planning curriculum, small groups, or other topical events. If church is really like a family, we should treat all of our members with consideration, respect, and thoughtfulness.
In this way, we can remind them that church is so much more than a Sunday morning service. The local church is a family of believers who show up for one another on a week-to-week basis in personal, loving, and intimate ways. The Bible is very clear about caring for the vulnerable—specifically “widows,” which can apply to single women or single moms who don’t have much help surrounding them in life.
“If church is really like a family, we should treat all of our members with consideration, respect, and thoughtfulness. ”
An Invitation Back
The most common way for a woman to return to church is through an invitation from a friend. This is evangelism 101, and we should be intentional about seeking out those opportunities.
Another way women seek out a new church is through community-integrated church activities. Whether this is a parenting class, an Easter Egg hunt, or a volunteer event in the community, people are drawn to churches that are providing for neighborhoods, children and families.
I would also invite church leadership to consider the voices and needs of women specifically as they plan out their yearly calendar. How are we ensuring women feel seen and heard within the church community? This in no way means we strive to alter the Gospel message along gender lines, but rather that we ensure we are adequately anticipating and speaking to the felt needs of the church body as a whole.
Lastly, if women have experienced pain or hurt in the past, I would invite them to consider a different kind of church experience. If they went to a megachurch, invite them to a smaller gathering. If they aren’t ready for a church building, perhaps meeting with a few fellow Christians each week in someone’s home is the best first step.
It's important to meet people where they are while also encouraging them to pursue God’s calling and take steps of faith when ready. Women’s participation in the local church allows them to use the unique spiritual gifts God created them with and glorify him with them. Women need the church, and the church needs women. The body is not whole without each believer there, and there are a lot of women missing right now.
Let’s prayerfully pursue a great return for the millions who have left the church. The fruit of such action will be eternal.
Ericka Andersen is a freelance writer who lives with her husband and two children in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the author of “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women.”
MORE FROM JOURNEYWOMEN
IMPORTANT NOTE
Journeywomen articles are intended to serve as a springboard for continued study in the context of your local church. While we carefully select writers each week, articles shared on the Journeywomen website do not imply Journeywomen's endorsement of all writings and positions of the authors or any other resources mentioned.
