Humility in Discipleship with Megan Eshbaugh and Susie Matter
Today we are wrapping up our series, “Keeping it Local: Leaning into Discipleship in your Local Context,” with a conversation on humility in discipleship. Throughout this series we’ve talked with women from Hunter’s local church and today, we get to share with you two of our favorites, Megan Eshbaugh and Susie Matter. They talk about what it means to walk in humility as we share not only the gospel, but our very lives so that we might learn more of what it means to follow Christ as we do life together.
Can you tell us a little about who you are and what you do?
What should be central in our discipleship relationships?
How is discipleship more of an identity than an activity?
How do we use question asking as a teaching tool in discipleship?
What are some helpful questions we can ask to help us assess where someone is at spiritually?
How do we address sinful attitudes and behaviors with the grace of the gospel? What might your first step be in that process?
How can/should we respond when we’re asked a question we feel like we don’t have the answer to? Or, even better, what posture should we maintain when we approach discipling others, in general?
Are there any boundaries that we should consider when we’re forming discipleship relationships? Is that even a Biblical question?
What is it that sustains your ability to pour out in this capacity?
Our upcoming season is on practical theology. Where do theology and disciple making intersect?
TWO QUESTIONS WE’RE ASKING EVERY GUEST THIS SEASON
How have you seen yourself grow in your ability to make disciples? What has been the most helpful practice/thing you’ve done to develop this skill?
What’s one question you would encourage women to ask an older woman in their life, maybe even today, after listening to this conversation?
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
Central Elements of Discipleship:
“Christ, humility, love, grace, gentleness, meeting people where they are, living authentically, counseling Biblically, and speaking grace seasoned with love.”
“Humility for the person being discipled and the discipler, knowing they are not perfect and don’t have it all together.”
“Another thing [necessary in discipleship] is incarnating Jesus’ love not only in what we say, but also in what we do and how we live life together, and showing the fullness of his grace and truth in every aspect of our lives as we live in relationships with people.”
“If we try to add discipleship on as an extra activity it wouldn’t fit in. But when you take discipleship as an identity (or part of your lifestyle), it follows you wherever you go. You can be discipling people when you bump into them in the grocery store.”
“All of us are called to discipleship as a part of our life. Discipleship and making disciples is a lifestyle of trying to point others to Jesus as you walk together.”
“[Discipleship] has to be rooted in our love for Christ and that in return helps us love others.”
“The gospel is my motivation. Loving others where they are, and not my knowledge of skill but the power of God working in me. And prayerfully depending on him. It’s not what I do, but what he has done for me.”
“Discipleship is all of life.”
“A good discipler (someone who wants to come alongside someone) isn’t going to tell someone what to do, but is going to ask questions and encourage them to seek out the wisdom of God on their own.”
Helpful questions to help assess where someone is on their spiritual journey:
Tell me your story. Tell me what you love and how you love.
How are you feeding your soul?
How were you before the Lord?
How are you as a wife? How are you as a mom? How are you as a friend?
What would you like God to accomplish in your heart?
Where do you need God’s presence in your life?
Tell me about your faith background. What is your family’s faith background?
What does it look like to love God and your neighbor in this situation?
“Before we even consider moving toward someone to help them see their own sin, we really need to take a deep and hard look at our own sin. Consider, ‘what’s my heart doing in this situation? How am I blind perhaps? Or how am I judging that person because of something ugly in my own heart?’”
“Before I move toward someone in wanting to point out a simple attitude in them, I want to make sure that my foundation in that conversation is love and wanting the best for them. When we are for someone and have a solid foundation of love in the relationship, those words can be heard and processed and considered.”
“Being vulnerable yourself is the first step.”
“I’m a sinner in need of grace as much as you.”
“Asking questions can be so important because sometimes we can assume that other people are like us. And so we might see something in their lives and make this assumption of, ‘if that is happening then I bet they are having these sinful heart tendencies, or I bet their motivations are this or that.’ When quite frankly it might not be. That might be how we would respond in that situation, but they are different than us. It’s good to ask questions so we aren’t assuming that they might have the same sin tendencies that we might have in that situation.”
“Discipleship is not always about knowledge, it’s about gaining Biblical perspective which a lot of times comes through experience.”
“It’s ok that I don’t know.”
“I had this false belief that I couldn’t mentor others until I knew all of the answers.”
“All of the best discipleship moments in my life had nothing to do with reading all the right books or going to seminary. They were regular life-on-life things where I learned from people in very ordinary ways.”
“I am a limited person. God is infinite, all-knowing, and powerful. There are boundaries and limitations in what I can do and be as a discipler to another person.”
“We are never trying to have people look to us as the problem solver, as the answer, or the one with all the wisdom. Point people to Jesus. He is the one who is all-wise, all-knowing, the one who is constantly faithful, and whose love will never fail. In our human weakness and human limitations, we can exemplify how Jesus is different than us in the way he is not weak and sinful. He is perfectly able to always be with other people.”
“Don’t let them be more dependent on me than they are on God.”
“You have to be dependent on the Lord first and foremost.”
“The simplicity of prayer is the real work of discipleship. It’s reliance on God and not on myself.”
“Discipleship is ultimately the work of the Holy Spirit.”
“I’m able to love others because God loved me first.”
“I know that it’s not about other women being impressed with me, but it’s about them seeing God more clearly and developing their love for him and knowing his love for them. If I can be part of that great, but I don’t need to impress people. That’s given me a huge amount of freedom to invest in people’s lives.”
“Have that eternal perspective that it’s not about me. In the mess of life, he meets us there and is glorified through that. I’ve had to get over myself.”
Questions to ask someone who is older than you:
What did God’s grace look like for you when you were my age?
Where have you seen God’s faithfulness grow you?
How have you seen God weave your story into his bigger, grander, eternal story?
RESOURCE FOR DISCIPLESHIP
Online Courses - Charles Simeon Trust
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
How is discipleship more of an identity than an activity?
How has God used discipleship relationships to make you more like him?
What would it look like to address sinful attitudes and behaviors with the grace of the gospel?
What Scriptures might help us maintain humility when engaging in discipleship relationships?
As a disciple of Christ, how you can further engage in your local church to walk in obedience to the call to “go and make disciples?”
SCRIPTURE MEMORY
”Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:16-17
IMPORTANT NOTE
Journeywomen interviews are intended to serve as a springboard for continued study in the context of your local church. While we carefully select guests each week, interviews do not imply Journeywomen's endorsement of all writings and positions of the interviewee or any other resources mentioned.
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